How to Get a Second Date: Scientific Signs They Want To See You Again
Will you get a second date? Chances are, the decision’s already been made before the entrée hits the table.
Key Takeaways
A recent survey shows most people make up their minds within the first 19 minutes of sitting down. But research suggests those early moments still matter. Small cues like how you smile, the way you phrase a compliment, and even how you laugh can quietly shift the odds in your favor.
Behavioral studies have uncovered specific patterns that boost your chances of turning a first impression into a lasting connection. These signals are visible, learnable, and backed by data.
Here’s What You Should Do on Your First Date:
Use Creative Compliments
If you want to make a lasting impression on a first date, skip the obvious lines. Researchers found that men who used metaphorical compliments, especially creative and unusual ones, were rated as more attractive than those who used literal praise. Saying “Your eyes are morning dew” outperformed “Your lips are sexy” not just in the moment but even later, when women couldn’t recall the compliment but still found the man more appealing. The effect was strongest when the compliment focused on appearance rather than possessions. Metaphorical language also made men seem more intelligent without coming off as dominant.
The results held across different romantic styles and cultural backgrounds, pointing to a quiet but powerful truth: originality in language leaves a deeper mark than routine flattery.
Establish Mutual Eye Contact
If you want your date to remember you, look them in the eyes. Researchers from a speed-dating study found that people were significantly more likely to choose partners with whom they shared mutual eye contact, even after accounting for physical attractiveness. For men especially, receiving direct eye contact during conversation had a strong effect on their choice.
Another study shows that eye contact not only increased comfort but also encouraged deeper self-disclosure, reducing the need for small talk and helping people feel more emotionally connected. When couples couldn’t make eye contact, they asked more questions to fill the uncertainty gap, but when eye contact was possible, the conversation moved more naturally into personal territory.
Warning: Don’t overdo it – or you’ll seem creepy.
Pick Up the Fork and Feed Your Date
It may sound theatrical, but feeding your date a bite of dessert could double your chances of seeing them again. Researchers analyzing nearly 800 first dates found that when one person fed the other—placing food directly into their partner’s mouth—93% of couples said they wanted a second date. Among those who didn’t share food this way, less than half did. The gesture was more common among women and typically happened during dessert, especially when chocolate was involved. Researchers noted that feeding often coincides with flirting and kissing, suggesting it functions as a strong nonverbal cue of attraction and comfort.
Warning: Don’t try this at the appetizers. Use it to seal the deal.
Use Emojis in Your Messages
Researchers found that emojis carry more romantic weight than most people realize. People who used emojis frequently with potential partners were more likely to get second dates, have physical intimacy, and start relationships. Emojis didn’t help land the date, but they made the interaction feel more emotionally expressive and personal, especially over text, where tone and intent can get lost. Participants said emojis helped them show personality and convey emotion in a way that plain text couldn’t. The result? Messages felt more real, more human, and more likely to build a connection strong enough to move things forward.
How to Know if Your Date is Interested in You:
Watch Their Body Language
Attraction often shows up in the body before it’s ever put into words. In a study about body movements in speed dating, researchers found that people’s physical movements revealed subtle clues about their interest, especially for women. Women who moved less felt more attracted to their partner. And when two people’s movements gradually aligned, it was a stronger sign of connection than mimicry alone. If your date seems to settle into stillness and your movements start to quietly match, chances are you’re doing something right.
Keep the First Date Casual
Researchers found that casual environments make it easier to read someone’s true personality. In more romantic first dates, people often mask their real traits, either to impress or protect themselves, making genuine attraction signals harder to detect. In general, a more casual date format gives both people a better shot at forming accurate impressions, helping you decide if the connection is worth pursuing or just a good story for later.
Notice Their Smile
A recent study found that matching smiles can significantly boost romantic interest during a date. When both people’s smiles were made more expressive during a speed date, they reported stronger attraction and were more likely to want to see each other again.
The effect wasn’t just about one person smiling more; it worked best when both smiles were equally expressive. Even when participants weren’t consciously aware of smiling more or seeing more smiles, aligned facial expressions made conversations feel warmer and more enjoyable. The takeaway is simple: if your date’s smile brightens, let yours meet it.
Remeber How Much They Laugh
Laughter can tell you more about your date than you might think.
Tamara Rathcke and
Susanne Fuchs found that shared laughter, especially early in a conversation, is a strong sign of mutual attraction. Nearly 27% of all laughs happened in the first minute, helping couples establish a quick sense of connection. When both people laughed at the same time, even without matching the exact type of laugh, they felt more drawn to each other.
Some types of laughter were more revealing than others: snort-like laughs, though rare, were linked to attraction, while song-like “hahaha” laughs were the most contagious and inviting. Men often led the laughter, and women were more likely to join in. Daters who laughed longer were also rated as more attractive after the date than before, suggesting that laughter not only breaks the ice, it builds momentum.
How to Read Someone’s Behavior
If you want to get better at spotting behavioral signals, there’s training for that. Courses on behavior analysis and body language, like Deception Detection: Interviewing and Getting to the Truth, can teach you how to read movements, decode verbal patterns, and pick up on the subtle shifts people make and what they mean. The basis of these methods that help land a second date can also help you tell if your date is lying.
To learn more, check out the article, Is Your Date Telling the Truth? 5 Things to Look For in the Candlelight. You can also take this quiz to test your ability to read body language and the meanings behind different gestures and posture.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are signs someone is interested in you?
Signs someone is interested in you often appear in their eye contact, smiles, laughter, and body language before they ever say it out loud. Research on first dates shows that attraction is revealed through synchronized movement, expressive facial cues, and shared emotional moments.
Mutual eye contact is one of the strongest indicators. People are significantly more likely to choose partners with whom they share direct eye contact, and it often leads to deeper conversation and emotional connection. Matching smiles also matter. When both people’s smiles become more expressive, attraction increases and conversations feel warmer and more natural.
Shared laughter is another powerful signal. Couples who laugh together, especially early in the interaction, report stronger mutual interest. Subtle body language shifts such as movement alignment or settling into comfortable stillness can also reflect growing connection.
What’s the best first date advice?
The best first date advice is to focus on small, research-backed behaviors that increase attraction and emotional connection early in the interaction. Most people decide within the first 19 minutes, so subtle cues like how you compliment, smile, and make eye contact can shape whether there will be a second date.
Use creative, metaphorical compliments rather than routine praise. Studies show original language increases perceived attractiveness and intelligence. Establish mutual eye contact to encourage deeper self disclosure and strengthen romantic interest, but keep it natural. Shared laughter and expressive, matching smiles signal comfort and growing connection.
What are the common first date mistakes to avoid?
Common first date mistakes include relying on generic compliments, avoiding eye contact, choosing overly formal settings, and missing subtle nonverbal signals of attraction. Research shows most people decide within the first 19 minutes, so small behavioral missteps can quietly reduce your chances of a second date.
Standard praise such as obvious appearance comments is less effective than creative, metaphorical compliments, which increase perceived attractiveness and intelligence. Failing to establish mutual eye contact can limit emotional connection and keep conversations stuck in small talk. Overly romantic or high pressure environments may also make it harder to see someone’s true personality.
Ignoring body language, shared laughter, and expressive smiles is another mistake. Attraction often shows up through synchronized movement, matching smiles, and early shared laughter. Skipping small relational behaviors such as playful dessert sharing or expressive emojis in follow up messages can also mean missing opportunities to build connection.
What are the best compliments to give on a first date?
The best compliments to give on a first date are creative, metaphorical compliments that feel original and specific rather than obvious or routine. Research shows that unusual, appearance focused compliments increase perceived attractiveness and intelligence more than literal praise.
Instead of saying something predictable, use imaginative language. For example, “Your eyes are morning dew,” “Your smile lights up the whole table,” or “You have a laugh that pulls people in.” These types of compliments leave a stronger impression than direct statements like “You’re sexy.” The effect often lingers even when the exact words are forgotten.